Chapter 1369 — Youdu Longs for Death
The Herdsman of the Wasteland · Page 2 of 3
Each place where those lights shone was a world — worlds beyond counting. The myriad heavens and worlds of the Yuan Realm were already exceedingly many, yet compared with the worlds he now beheld they were but a single hair from nine oxen.
Stranger still, the karmic fire of the living beings in these worlds was unstable: thread after thread of karmic fire rose from them and flew off into the darkness.
In the darkness these fires gathered together, forming torrents of karmic fire.
The torrents of karmic fire were like a spider's web. In the darkness three or five of them merged, merging again and again, until at the center of Tu Bo's body they gathered completely.
There the karmic fire was dense and thick beyond measure; even Shen Mu's eyesight could not pierce it.
The karmic fire there was shaped like an enormous ball of flame, and also like a round egg formed of karmic fire.
An egg of karmic fire, gestating life.
Heavenly Venerable Yue surveyed the space within Tu Bo's body, and when her gaze fell upon the place where the karmic fire gathered, she could not help uttering a soft cry of surprise.
Tu Bo said, "Fellow Daoist Yue, have you seen it?"
Heavenly Venerable Yue looked doubtful. "I have seen something of it. You draw upon the karmic fire of all living beings and are gestating something. But I see no sign of any life within that egg of karmic fire."
Shen Mu was looking that way as well. His present eyesight could not pierce the egg of karmic fire, far inferior to Heavenly Venerable Yue's, but he too could see that something was amiss.
Tu Bo gathered the karmic fire of all living beings. The living erred too greatly, and karmic fire burned their souls; so Tu Bo took their transgressions upon himself, that the karmic fire might not burn the souls of the living but burn within his own body instead.
And this was the strange thing: Tu Bo's body was Youdu itself, yet at this moment Tu Bo's true body was nothing but an outer shell — hollow within.
That is to say, all that remained of Tu Bo was the outer continent serving as his skin; the true body within had vanished without a trace, leaving only this mass of karmic fire — this egg.
"I have no true body."
Tu Bo said, "I am using the karmic fire of all living beings to forge a true body for myself, so that in days to come I may cast off the station of an ancient god and become an independent life. The great Dao of Youdu made me, and it also bound me. Youdu gave me boundless power, and it bound me here, unable to know joy or anger, sorrow or gladness, love or hate or deep feeling. I cannot smell fragrance, cannot taste delicacies, have no sense of touch, no sense of pain; I cannot even feel kinship, friendship, or love. And yet..."
He was silent a moment, then said, "I once felt them."
Something stirred in Shen Mu's heart. He said softly, "A Chou."
"Yes. A Chou."
Tu Bo went on. "A Chou has lived through what I have never lived through; A Chou has his own joys and angers, sorrows and gladness, loves and hates, passions and grievances. Beside him, I am not a life at all. I am merely a vessel of the great Dao of Youdu. It was A Chou who fought his way up to the celestial court, not I. I envy him. I long for a death."
Shen Mu and Heavenly Venerable Yue were shaken to the core, staring at him in disbelief.
A faint smile appeared on Tu Bo's wooden face. "You did not mishear. I envy A Chou, I long for a death, I long to become A Chou. This forging of a true body from karmic fire — I prepared it for A Chou. I am waiting for A Chou's daughter to kill me, waiting for the moment after she kills me, when I become A Chou. And then..."
His ugly face was filled with a tender smile. "We will be a family again. I will be a father, and she will be my daughter."
Heavenly Venerable Yue fell silent.
Shen Mu could not hold back. "Will Heavenly Venerable Xu acknowledge you as her father? Tu Bo, you are gambling with your own life."